


Atlantis

by MutantParagon



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama & Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Interspecies Romance, Interspecies Sex, Le sex is in here so be prepared, M/M, Modern/Urban AU, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 21:55:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16228082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MutantParagon/pseuds/MutantParagon
Summary: Leo is suffering from a broken heart after his boyfriend of three years breaks up with him unexpectedly. A year later, he thinks that he’s finally able to move past it and go on with his life. That is, until he receives a phone call from the man that he thought he would never hear from again…





	1. Ruins

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter Warning: There is some yaoi, m/m smut in this chapter! If that isn't your cup of tea, read cautiously. If it is then please, enjoy!
> 
> Word Key  
> ["Words being spoken in another language"]  
>  _Italicized paragraphs will probably be dreams and/or flashbacks_  
>  **Username/Name: This is probably a text message or IM from a character**

**Flashback - 2 years ago**

_Rays of golden yellow light streamed through the sheer white window curtains, bathing the bedroom with a gentle, warm glow. They streamed across the floor and traveled across the bed, landing on the malachite green form of Leonardo Hamato. He released a low, displease groan, his form shifting under the covers as the light landed on his face, his stormy grey eyes blinking open groggily in response._

_“Ugh… why?” Leonardo Hamato groaned lowly, his malachite green arm coming up to block the rays that had just so rudely pulled him from his slumber. Why was the black out curtains open anyway? Had he forgotten to close them from the morning before? Or…, “Usagi… did you forget to close the curtains?”_

_Another form in the bed shifted behind him, a white, furred arm lazily wrapped around Leonardo’s waist and over his plastron, pulling his shell flush to the chest of the rabbit in question. Although Leo was annoyed and sleepy, he felt his face heat up slightly when Usagi lightly buried his face into the crook of the turtle’s neck, his lips ghosting over the green skin innocently. Leonardo suppressed a shiver of pleasure when Usagi began to talk, the innocent touches of his mouth so close to his pulse was not helping, not even a little bit, “... I’m sorry, koi. If I remember correctly, we were both otherwise…_ **_distracted_ ** _until early this morning.”_

_“That’s… fair,” Leo said bashfully, shifting so that he could roll onto his shell and face his boyfriend. In turn, Usagi shifted so that he was leaning over Leo’s form, shifting his weight onto his elbow so that he could look down into the turtle’s face with a fond glint in his sleepy, coral eyes. His ears, free of his usual elastic tie, flopped down and over his shoulders lazily. The warm glow of light that came through the window highlighted the features of his handsome face and the softness of his fur. Leo slowly blinked up at his partner, sleepily awestruck at the sight above him, “H-hey.”_

_Usagi blinked back down at the turtle, chuckling deeply before leaning down to press a tender kiss to Leo’s lips. When he pulled away, he left a little less than an inch between their mouths. His voice still deep with sleep when he spoke again, “... Good morning. Did you sleep well?”_

_“Yes…,” Leo sighed out with contentment, smiling up at the other lovingly, “Despite our activities from last night, I always sleep better when you’re here.”_

_Usagi’s smile faltered a little bit, but not by much. His hand reached down, his fingertips brushing against Leo’s cheek before he gently cupped it in his palm, “... I’m sorry. At least I’m off duty indefinitely this time around.”_

_“So, I have you all to myself then?” Leo said with a grin, leaning into Usagi’s touch eagerly._

_“For as long as you’d like...,” Usagi confirmed, pressing his lips to Leo’s again, this time with a bit more passion. Leo sighed into the kiss, tilting his head slightly against the navy blue pillow underneath it in order to gain more access. After a few seconds, Usagi tongue sensually licked over Leo’s bottom lip, silently asked to deepen the kiss. Leo opening his mouth, sliding his tongue out to meet Usagi’s halfway, their wet appendages slowly moving against each other as they revealed in the other's taste._

_The kiss became gradually more heated, the soft sounds of their sighs, moans, and moist interactions echoed throughout the room as the minutes passed. When they separated, they were both panting, desperate for air and coherent thought. Leo’s grey eyes, foggy with desire, focused in on Usagi’s form above him. He became aware that the rabbit had comfortably nestled himself in between his legs at some point during their make out session but, to be honest, Leonardo could care less. It had been nearly a month since they had been this close-- this intimate-- so the closer they could get, the better._

_“God, I missed you…” Usagi exhaled, his voice deep with need, his forehead leaning against Leo’s as he tried desperately to repress his urges, “... I… can I ask you something?”_

_“Yeah…” Leonardo exhales as well but it came out as a low moan, a barely noticeable churr rumbling in his chest. Usagi inhaled sharply, trying to ignore the alluring sounds his partner was making but failed miserably._

_“W-what time do you have to be at work today?”_

_As if on queue, both of their heads turned in unison to the nightstand, honing in on the digital alarm clock blaring 8:41am in illuminated red numbers._

_“Um, my first class starts at 11:15am so…,” Leo trailed off absently, their eyes locking onto each other again as he thought through his normal morning routine, “I should be out the door by 10:15 the latest.”_

_“Hmm… so plenty of time for a quickie then?” Usagi rumbled out with a faint smirk, leaning down to press a tender kiss to the corner of Leo mouth. The rabbit left a searing trail of kisses and nipps across the turtle’s jawline and down his sensitive neck, causing a more noticeable churr to resonate from Leo’s chest._

_“Again?” Leo groaned out, a faint smile pulling at his lips. He released a startled gasp when Usagi bit down lightly at the sensitive bend of his neck, “God, you’re insatiable...”_

_“Of course… I can never get enough of you, koi,” Usagi said sincerely before continuing with kisses, gentle nips and sensual licks along the turtle’s neck. His hand wandered down, over the slit containing Leo’s erection and in between in legs, his fingers carefully pressing into Leo’s entrance. Leonardo released a surprised moan, arching slightly at the probing feeling, “... You still seem ready from last night. Should I get more lube? Or--”_

_The rabbit had gotten ready to pull away, reaching for the nightstand drawer but was stopped when Leo wrapped his arms around Usagi’s shoulders. He lifted his head off the pillow and pulled Usagi down for a wet, needy kiss, effectively stopping him from leaving their intimate embrace. Usagi got the hint, smirking against his lover’s lips before he withdrew his fingers and quickly replaced it with his throbbing erection. Leonardo threw his head back, separating their mouths as he groaned out the rabbit’s name. Usagi grunted as he carefully sheathed himself, releasing a shaky sigh when he was completely buried, “A-are you alright?”_

_“Yes…,” Leo said softly as Usagi lifted himself up to look down into his lover’s face, checking for any sign of discomfort._

_The turtle appeared extremely flushed, his lips parted slightly as he quickly and lightly took in air. His chest heaving with the mixed feeling of pain and pleasure that traveled up and between his legs like electrical currents. Usagi felt himself harden even further at the sight below him, his expression filled with adoration for the turtle beneath him, “Leo ... I love you.”_

_Leo blinked up at the rabbit slowly, his mouth turn up into a faint but genuine smile, “I-I love you too.”_  
_  
_ _Usagi chuckled softly, leaning down and kissing Leo again. They’re wet, demanding tongues danced with each other in hungry movements for a few moments before Usagi began to thrust at a deliciously torturous pace, aiming more for depth rather than speed. Leo released a heated moan into Usagi’s mouth, his chest arching into his partner’s, desperate for more contact. His grey eyes rolled back in pure ecstasy, his lover quickly finding and hitting his prostate within a matter of minutes. Incoherent words and sounds began to tumble out of Leo’s mouth, Usagi’s mouth finding its way back to Leo’s neck and biting down as his thrusts increased in speed._

_Leonardo couldn’t take it anymore. His orgasm was building up fast and all coherent thought had flown out the window at this point. All he wanted was for the feelings of pleasure, heat, and ecstasy to continue.  He called out Usagi’s name like a pleading mantra, his vision becoming unfocused and his chest heaving as he came closer and closer to his inevitable release..._

* * *

**Present Day**

Leonardo’s eyes flickered open when his alarm clock chirped a light tune from it’s place on the nightstand next to his bed. The warm glow of the late morning sun shimmered in, bathing the room in a light that seemed… so much more bland than it had been in his dream.

He blinked slowly a couple of times, his vision adjusting to the rich navy blue paint of his ceiling and the sluggishly moving fan above as he became painfully aware of the date and time of the day. Based of his alarm, it was 9:30am, the third Thursday of September and the day of his 28th birthday.

He sighed, his hands coming up to rub at his face in an attempt to physically wipe the sleep from his person. He shifted into a seated position, his hand and eyes subconsciously slide over to the empty spot on the opposite side of the bed. He already knew he would be alone but he couldn’t help the misguided feeling of hope that he woke up with sometimes, especially when he had dreams of _him…_ of a time when things were happier, warmer... better.  

“... Right,” Leo said softly, reluctantly acknowledging that the last year had, indeed, happened. His misplaced hope waned and almost morphed into melancholy before he forcefully pushed it out of his thoughts.

‘ _It’s been a year, Leonardo. Get over it_ ,’ He thought to himself, reprimanding his naivety as he turned his head and reached for his cell phone, quickly turning of the alarm, and pulling it free from it charger. Turning it on, he saw that his social media platforms had blown up with messages everywhere from high school acquaintances to his colleagues at the university, wishing him a happy birthday. He blinked in bewilderment, surprised that he had so many birthday wishes before noon but decided to only focus on the messages from his family members and closest friends for the time being.

 

 **Donatello H** **: Hey Leo! Hope you have a wonderful birthday today! Let me know if you want to hang out today. I’m free tonight : D!**

Leo smiled, appreciative of Donnie’s response. Donatello had a very bad habit of getting so caught up in his work that he would forget what day it was. Needless to say, seeing the message in his inbox, first thing in the morning was a treat. He definitely had to reach out to him and see if he was available for dinner at his apartment.

 

 **Raphael H** **: God, you’re getting old. Lmao! Miss your face bro. Have a happy birthday and let me know what color cane you want >D**

The turtle’s eye ridge twitched at his immediately younger brother’s rude but funny words. He knew it came from a place of love… but he was definitely going to flick him in the forehead when he saw him next time. The hot-headed turtle, a mixed martial artist and personal trainer, always set an evening aside every week to work out with his big brother. They used to do it more often when they were teenagers but when Leo decided to go into academics, Raphael seemed to work twice as hard to become the renowned fighter he was today. And after everything that happened with ‘the rabbit’, it had turned from a necessity-- a way to get Leo out of the house more often-- into a routine. Leo would always be grateful to Raph for that… even if he could be an ass sometimes.

 

 **April O’Neil-Jones** **: Hey Leo! Happy 28th! We definitely need to go out for drinks soon! Call you later today to chat! Love ya!**

Leo chuckled, missing his old high school friend. She came to visit him at the university off and on but she was so busy running her booming antique shop, she barely had time to see him, let alone get lunch for herself.

 

 **Casey “The Puck” Jones** **: Aye yo Leo, my man! Happy birthday! Man, time flies huh?? I think im free tonight so I can stop by your place with some bruskies if your cool wit that. Hit me up and let me know! Peace!**

Leo snickered to himself. Casey was such a character; he was always so jovial and… well… _extra_. He had always been the life of the party in one way or another. Casey actually stopped by more often over the last year… probably because of what happened with Usagi. The loveable hockey player and delivery man never brought up the Usagi incident-- not once. He would just come over, uninvited, with one or two of his brothers in tow… as well as some other random guys he didn’t know, and kicked it with some beers. His place was always a major mess afterwards but he would be lying if he said it wasn’t worth it.

 

 **Karai Saki** **: I am not the best at sending out birthday wishes without sounding lame but… Happy 28th! I’ll call you later! Have an awesome day professor!**

Leo sighed happily. Karai was his ex-girlfriend from high school but they had stayed good friends after their break up. It was due to a mixture of her father, Oroku Saki, not liking his father, Hamato Yoshi, because of some sort of family feud that had nothing to do with his adopted self. There was also the fact that he was a turtle and Karai was… well, not. After all, they were better friends then they had ever been as boyfriend and girlfriend. He would guess to say that he was closer to Karai than he was to April in some ways.

Leonardo grinned, his melancholy and thoughts of times long past faded from his thoughts as slowly swung his legs over the edge of the bed. He blinked, a new notification coming through from his youngest brother.

 **Mikey Hamato** **: Hey big bro! Happy birthday! Also, I’m in your apartment making breakfast. I used the last of the eggs. I hope that’s okay. Love Mikey XOXO**

“...,” Leo stared at the message for several seconds before he turned his head, narrowing his eyes at his bedroom door. He had a sneaking suspicion that his youngest brother was standing right outside of it, giggling like a little school girl, “...Mikey…”

There was a short pause…

And then the bedroom door creaked open, a single electric blue eye looked through and made direct contact with him. Leo could just make out the sea green skin of Mikey’s face through the tiny crack, “... Hey big bro.”

Leonardo sighed roughly, swiftly standing to his feet and making his way over to his bedroom door, fully swinging it open to fully reveal his kid brother, a full head shorter than him with wide blue eyes and a cheerful boyish grin that made him look several years younger than he really was. His expression was sheepish but mostly jovial, probably happy to see his brother just before Leo left for the university.

“How did you get into my apartment?” Leo asked, raising an eye ridge down at his brother with curiosity, “Did you make a copy of my apartment key again?”

“No no, nothing like that,” Mikey denied, waving his hands in front of him in defense, “This time, I was able to talk the doorman into letting me in. Once I flashed these adorable baby blues of mine, they couldn’t resist my charms. You know this about me already, Leo.”

“... Well that’s dangerous,” Leo groaned, swiping his hand down his face at his brother’s antics. He didn’t like the concept of his doorman just letting people in willy nilly if they flirted or bribed enough. Luckily, it was just his brother, “Regardless, it’s nice to see you Mikey… but next time you make me breakfast, can you please bring your own food with you?”

“I will _try_ to remember that. Emphasis on _try_ ,” Mikey said, turning on his heels and walking towards the open kitchen near the front door. Leonardo follow, his nose was immediately assaulted with the delicious smell of bacon and buttery pancakes. Regardless of how sneaky his little brother could be, he had a good heart and his cooking was beyond phenomenal. The smell alone nearly made the elder turtle drool right then in there, “So here is your birthday boy breakfast! I made you peppered bacon, blueberry pancakes, and cheesy scrambled eggs. There’s also a pot of fresh medium roast coffee being made right now.”

Leo blinked in amazement at the spread on the kitchen island. It was like the holy grail of breakfast buffets, untouched by foolish, unworthy mortals. Who knew turning 28 would grant him with such a wondrous feast. Leonardo wondered momentarily where his baby brother got all of the food from-- he was certain that he didn't have pancake mix or blueberries anywhere in his apartment, “... Have I ever told you that you’re my favorite brother?”

Mikey laughed, rolling his eyes as he grabbed two plates from the top cabinets, handing one over to Leo, “I know, I know, your welcome. Now eat up!”

And Leonardo did just that. He loaded up his plate and poured himself a cup of coffee with just a dash of cream before taking a seat at the bar stool at the kitchen island. He scarfed down half of it within the first 5 minutes, his taste buds euphoric  and his stomach pleased… that was until his more logical side kicked in.

Sure, Michelangelo was kindhearted and had the tendency to barge into his apartment randomly if they hadn't hung out or seen each other in a long while… but Leonardo had a sneaking suspicion that the breakfast, although exceptional, was some sort of distraction. It was his birthday, sure, but Mikey normally bribed him with food when he thought he was in trouble or if he was going to do something that may potentially irritate the elder turtle.

Leonardo narrowed his eyes at the younger turtle over the brim of his coffee mug, his sip of the liquid sunshine paused as his suspicions solidified in his thoughts. It only took Mikey a few seconds to notice his brother was glaring at him, his wide eyes blinking back at Leo from the other side of the island as he paused mid-munch on a piece of bacon, “... What? Why are you looking at me like that.”

“What are you planning?” Leo asked, slowly finishing his sip without breaking eye contact.

“Planning? Whatever do you mean?” Michelangelo said, a little too innocently for Leo's tastes.

“Don't play the ignorance card with me, Mikey. I have students that pull it off way better than you ever could,” Leo started, placing his mug down on the island and crossing his arms over the marble surface, “It's not that I don't appreciate your birthday breakfast… but the last time you did something like this for me, you had snuck into my office and took my class roster so that you could get one of my students’ phone numbers.”

“Oh yeah... Jesse,” Mikey sighed out dreamily, his eyes rolling to the ceiling at the memory before he swiftly corrected himself, clearing his throat, “T-that doesn't prove anything. So I made a misguided decision by--”

“Thinking with your dick and not with your head?” Leo offered bluntly, raising an eye ridge. It hadn't been one of Mikey's proudest moments, not to mention how super illegal it was to steal a student's personal information out of a professor's office.

“You're _mean_. That's what you are,” Mikey pouted, taking a quick thoughtful nibble of his half eaten bacon before he continued, “So I made a mistake one time, that's not enough to--”

Leo swiftly cut his brother off, ignoring his explanation, “Then there was that other time when you used my apartment to have a party while I went away for a linguistics conference. You made me lunch before I went to the airport.”

“... Oh right,” Mikey said after a long awkward pause, his offended expression becoming sheepish in a matter of seconds.

“ 'Oh right’? Seriously? I was cleaning up mysterious food stains for weeks afterwards, Mike. How a piece of ham got cramped into the inside of my record player is beyond me,” Leo said with a sigh, grimacing and shaking his head at the distasteful memory, “Look, if your up to something that is either a breached of my students’ privacy or is going to  make my apartment smell odd, tell me now.”

“No, seriously Leo,” Mikey said standing from the bar stool and lifting up one hand while the other rested over his heart, “Scouts honor! I just wanted to make my big bro an awesome breakfast for his birthday before heading into work.”

Leo narrowed his eyes, “... Promise?”

“I promise!” He said exclaimed with a reassuring grin, “I swear on the life and health of my Nintendo switch.”

“Oh damn. That's a pretty serious swear,” Leo said with playful sarcasm, chuckling at his brothers desperate expression. Mikey's Switch was his life… well all things related to video games was the sea green turtles life so he knew he was serious. Leo's expression finally softened, a warm, sincere smile quickly spreading across his lips, “... Thank you Mikey. I appreciate it.”

Michelangelo beamed, sliding back into back into his barstool, “Your welcome you paranoid old man! Now finish your food before it gets cold!”

Leo rolled his eyes, popping a slice of bacon into his mouth before mumbling  out a sarcastic, “Yes sir.”

* * *

“[The samurai of Feudal Japan were extremely devoted to their code of honor, known as the Bushido]” Leonardo said, speaking in fluent, flawless Japanese as he spoke confidently at the front of his lecture hall. He paced slowly, his grey eyes roamed over the faces of his students carefully, naturally checking to make sure none of them were distracted or falling asleep, “[The bushido had eight main virtues that each and every samurai regularly practiced throughout their training and day-to-day life. Can anyone tell me what these virtues are?]”

After a second of silence, a few hands among the sea of seated students rose. Some shot up with confidence, others lifted slowly with uncertainty. Leo quickly scanned the crowd and settled on a male student in the last row, his face somewhat uncertain though his hand was still raised before Leo pointed to him, “[Peter-kun, what do you think the eight virtues are? Remember, speak in a full sentence back to me.]”

The student, Peter, swallowed nervously but became a bit more confident when Leo had restated the question for him. When he spoke, his Japanese was understandable but a little disjointed, “[The… the virtues that the samurai followed within the Bushido are… u-um… respect, benevolence, righteousness… uh…]”

He paused, his uncertainty getting the better of him. Leo shot him a encouraging smile, “[You are correct so far, Peter-kun. Please continue.]”

He cleared his throat, his confidence coming back a little, “[... Courage, honor,... in... Integrity, loyalty… and… umm… self… s-self control.]”

“[Correct! Wonderful job, Peter-kun.]” Leo said with a proud grin, “[The samurai were taught these virtues during their training which includes swordplay, grappling techniques, extensive weapons training outside of katanas and wakizashi, and the art of killing in one strike. They-- oh, yes, Elie-chan?]”

A female cat sitting at the front, Elie, was one of Leo’s best students. She had participated in each of his Japanese language courses from beginner to advanced and she had adopted the language very well, “[The art of killing in one strike?  I don’t think I’ve heard of this before. Could you explain?]”

“[Of course. A samurai would practice drawing their sword and either killing or incapacitating their opponent with that single draw. Not a lot of people had the ability to kill with one blow like that so it was a coveted skill, along with dual-wielding.]” Leonardo said, pleased to see that Elie seemed to understand everything he said. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket-- a timer he set to let him know that his class time was over. He swiftly pulled out his phone, dismissing the alarm before he switched back to English with ease, “Aannnd that’s our time everyone! Remember, we have a test next week and a short essay assignment due on Friday. If any of you have the time, I would advise that you join the study session that I will be running next week Tuesday, before the test.”

The students in the class quickly packed, shooting a “Thank you” or “See you Friday” over their shoulders as they walked out of the lecture hall to get to their next class. When the lecture hall was completely empty, Leo did a quick once over of the seats, making sure that none of his students had left anything behind before he closed the room for the afternoon. He had about two hours before his next class came through so he planned on making a quick run to one of the food trucks parked at the corner of the university building and eating lunch in his office until then.

As he he made his way back over to his desk and started to pack away a few course books into his leather messenger bag, he heard a light knock on the open classroom door, drawing his eyes over to it. Upon seeing who stood in the doorway, he had to stop himself from cursing out loud or used some sort of juvenile distraction technique (“Oh my God, what’s that over there?”)  in order to make a strategic withdrawal… but Leonardo was a grown man and he could handle talking to the person in the doorway, even if he was certain to get a headache out of it.

“Hey Leonardo,” Said the man in the doorway with a flirty smile. He was a tall human with long, brillant red hair pulled up into a neat bun and narrow, emerald eyes that sparkled with glee when their eyes met.

“... Hey Ue,” Leonardo said after a long, awkward silence passed between them. He forcefully ripping his eyes from the other male’s form, deciding instead to focus on organizing the stack of student assignments he had collected earlier  and placing them into a manila folder, “How may I help you today?”

“Well…” Ue started with a light smirk, walking over to Leo while simultaneously crossing his arms over chest, “You could start by returning my calls once in a while. Perhaps take me up on that dinner you keep on giving me a rain check on.”

“I’m pretty sure that ‘rain check’ turned into a ‘never gonna happen’ months ago,” Leo grumbled out as he slide his files into his messenger bag before zipping it closed. He brought his gaze back to Ue’s reluctantly before he continued, “I don’t date faculty members… besides, I thought you couldn’t stand me.”

He blinked back slowly at the turtles bluntness before he released a chuckle, “Well… yes. I’m pretty sure the feeling was mutual though.”

“ **_Is_ ** mutual. That feeling has never changed,” Leo clarified, his eyes sharpened with mild anger, “You tried to get me fired when I was an adjunct, remember? So… yeah, I also don’t date people who’ve tried to sabotage my career. Seems only fair.”

He chuckled deeply, his smirk becoming more obvious and his eyes flashing over Leo’s figure with a muted look of desire. The turtle clenched his teeth, wanting so badly to punch that smirk right off of his face… but it didn’t help when the president of the university was his father. Sure, Leonardo was a favorite among the students in the language department but starting a fight with Ue would definitely lead to an automatic dismissal, “But everything worked out in the end for you, didn’t it? My father adores you and the work you do here, so you’re not going anywhere - unless you want to.”

Leo roughly sighed, clearly annoyed, “What are you playing at Ue, really? I  don’t have time for your games right now--”

“Listen,” He said abruptly, cutting Leonardo off swiftly. His expression becoming serious as he lifted a hand that somehow worked with pausing Leo’s tirade, “I… I admire you, Leonardo. You’re a hard working man with many talents that I covet. On top of that… you’re very easy on the eyes.”

Leo shot him a dull look but Ue continued, waving his hand as if it would dismiss the look, “My point is that I would like the opportunity to start over with you… without the animosity.”

“... And you want to start over by _dating_ me?” Leo looked skeptical, adjusting his bag strap absently, “Just skip over the acquaintance and friend phase?”

He shrugged a shoulder, his lips parting into a genuine smile, “What can I say? I know what I want… and I’m not the type of guy to beat around the bush.”

“Alright, well then I won’t beat around the bush either,” Leo started, taking a deep, comical breath before he spoke again, curtly, “I don’t believe you and, quite frankly, I don’t like you. I wouldn’t even entertain the _possibility_ of dating someone like you so just drop it already.”

Much to Leonardo’s chagrin, instead of storming out of the room in anger like Leo had hoped, Ue released a startled laugh that shook the man’s shoulders. Leo felt one of his eye ridges twitch, not expecting that response in the slightest, “... What?”

“S-see? That’s why I like you,” He said, catching his breath before he spoke again, although there was a chuckle still in his voice, “You aren’t afraid of telling the truth or speaking to your feelings. I’ve never really met anyone like you before.”

“... Soooo, you like me because I don’t like you? Is that the sort of thing that gets your jollies off?”

“Something like that…” He said lowly, leaning towards Leo, placing his hand on the edge of the desk and effectively blocking the turtle’s original path to the lecture hall door. Leonardo felt himself swallow nervously, hating that Ue’s deep green eyes were rattling him so much, “... All that I ask is that you consider my offer. One dinner. If it turns out you absolutely can’t stand me even after that, then I will gracefully back off.”

“You should gracefully back off _now_ ,” Leo sighed out, sliding backward and away from Ue’s by a few inches, “Look… Even if there was sliver of a chance -- which there isn’t-- I am currently unavailable. So--”

“So you’re taken then?” Ue said, his expression turning slightly dejected at the possibility.

Leo’s eye ridge twitched, “... No. I’m just not looking to date anyone at the moment. And-- you know what, I don’t have to explain myself to you. I’m not dating you so stop asking me already.”

“Well, it’s always worth the risk… wouldn’t you agree?” He asked rhetorically, retracting his hand and standing upright again, “But… if you do decide to change your mind, you have my number, Leonardo. Call me whenever...”

And with that, the red-headed thorn in Leo’s side turned on his heels and strode out the door with a confidence that Leo was certain only the super spoiled could ever master. He felt a sting bubble up in his chest at Ue’s words; it was an innocent question, sure, but it kind of hurt in a way he hadn’t really expected. He found his thoughts shifting to Usagi again for the second time that day, remembering his warm coral eyes, the ever present gentleness in his voice, and his scent of a mild, woodsy cologne that fit him a little too well…

He bit his lip out of frustration before taking a deep breath, pushing the rabbit from his thoughts again. He found that this time around, it was considerably more difficult than it had been that morning.

“Dammit…,” Leonardo cursed under his breath, his hands clenching into tight fists at his sides before he stiffly walked out of the lecture hall, closing and locking the door behind him.

 

 


	2. Surprises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey there everyone! I’ve been a little busy with my day job (I travel almost every week for work) so I hadn’t been able to update like I would have liked. Buuuuut, I have been working on, not only this chapter, but the next few chapters as well (up to the 5th chapter). I’m so excited : D Things are going to get deliciously dramatic ^^~
> 
> Word Key  
> ["Words being spoken in another language"]  
>  _Italicized paragraphs will probably be dreams and/or flashbacks_  
>  **Username/Name: This is probably a text message or IM from a character**  
>  **"Someone is talking on the phone"**

**Flashback - 4 years ago**

_‘_ **_Ugh, what time is it?_ ** _’ Leonardo thought to himself as he looked outside the cafe windows across the street from the university. He was surprised to find that the sun had almost completely set, the skies taking on the hue of deep, dark cerulean He could no longer see the setting sun behind the towering buildings of New York City but  it didn’t take genius to know it was very late. It was probably_ **_way_ ** _passed the time he had intended to finish grading all of his students’ papers. He chanced a tentative glance at his lit phone screen, sitting innocently on the table next to a large stack of graded tests and essays._  

**_8:12pm_ **

_“Dammit…,” He mumbled out, his eye feeling suddenly more heavy after reading the clock. He quickly flipped through the pile he had left to grade. Thankfully, there wasn’t much left, probably another hour’s worth of work. Granted, that was under the assumption that the last few students hadn’t made any grave mistakes that would require him to decorate their test answers with a sea of red ink, “... Guess I’m burning the midnight oil again.”_

_The terrapin put down his pen momentarily, arching his chest forward and reaching his hands up to stretch out his shoulders and arms. He was happy to have finally gotten a job as an adjunct professor at such a prestigious university college but the only way he could make ends meet was to take on multiple courses. Not only that, but he had to work as a teacher’s assistant for some of the full-time faculty members to get some much needed experience; the more experience had, the more likely that he would be hired as a full-time professor in the near future. Unfortunately, that meant less free time, more late nights, and painfully early mornings for at least another two semesters._  

 **_‘It’ll pay off soon… hopefully_ ** _,’ He reassured himself, dropping his arms and rolling his shoulders to correct his posture, ‘_ **_Maybe I should get another double shot latte… or should I just go home? Get up bright and early and finish everything before my first class starts? Or--_ ** _’_

 _“Excuse me,” A voice next to Leonardo’s seating position brought him out of his internal thoughts. He turn his head to address the person that he had assumed was trying to get his attention, getting ready to automatically tell them that he was very busy. He stopped, startled to find the familiar face of a cafe regular he had seen in passing many times over: a rabbit with fur the color of snow, eyes a warm coral pink, and ears pulled up into a loose ponytail. He flashed a welcoming smile down at Leo before he spoke again, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I hope I’m not interrupting...”_  

_Leonardo starred up at him, momentarily lost for words or coherent thought. After all, this was the same guy that walked into the coffee shop every morning, sporting form-fitting workout gear that showed of the definition of his arms and legs. It never matter what the turtle was doing when the stranger came in -- reading a book, listening to a podcast, or talking on the phone-- Leo would find his gaze naturally gravitate towards the rabbit, waiting in line to order his morning cup of joe._

_The turtle was clearly attracted to the alluring stranger but he could never work up the nerve to walk over to him and start a conversation. He often talked himself out of it, rationalizing that the rabbit was probably already taken or perhaps he wouldn’t be interested in general._

_But now, here the rabbit stood, with a smile that made Leonardo’s stomach twist into knots and his heart to quicken in his chest. Leo cleared his throat after a long pause before speaking, “N-no, not at all. Can I help you with something?”_

_His smile widened a little when Leo spoke, “Well, no. I just noticed that you’ve been in this cafe since late this afternoon. I’m not sure what you’re working on but I, uh, took the liberty of ordering your usual, courtesy of the barista’s vast knowledge of her patrons.”_  

_Leo blinked, his eyes lowering to the large cup of coffee in the rabbit’s hand as his placed it on the only clear space available on the table. The turtle smiled at the cup before he shot the attractive stranger a look of gratitude, “Wow, t-thanks. That… I really appreciate this. Thank you so much.”_

_“You’re welcome. Every hard worker deserves a pick-me-up,” the rabbit said kindly, mirth dancing in his corals orbs as he scanned Leo’s face. A few seconds of silence passed between them before he nervously reached forward to shake the terrapin’s hand, “I-I know this is a bit forward but... I’ve been meaning to introduce myself. My name’s Usagi Miyamoto.”_  

_As Leonardo reached forward to shake Usagi’s offered hand with a polite but firm grip, he let out a short laugh that made Usagi raise an eyebrow with curiosity. Leo bit his lip shyly, unable to help himself, “Oh, sorry about that. It’s just… you’re a rabbit named Rabbit?”_

_It was Usagi’s turn to laugh, the sound made a teasing grin pull at Leonardo’s lips, “Ah, yes. My father wasn’t a very original man. If not Usagi, he probably would have named me Shiro.”_

_Leo laughed again, the fluttering in his chest becoming more apparent, “It’s a pleasure to meet you Usagi. My name’s Leonardo Hamato.”_

_He blinked down at Leo, his eyes lightened with realization, “Oh… you’re Japanese?”_

_“Not exactly,” Leo smiled awkwardly, getting ready to continue but then realized that they’re hands were still joined. Usagi seemed to notice it as well before they both awkwardly, but reluctantly, let go of each other, “U-um… My father is. I’m not.”_

_“... But you speak Japanese, I assume?” Usagi asked, idly putting his hands into the pockets of his jacket as a nervous gesture. He lightly gestured with his jaw toward the piles of paper Leo had been working through, each one covered in kanji and hiragana; not a lick of English to be found._  

_“[Oh, but of course. I teach it after all.]” Leo said with a mild smirk, “[My father taught me and my brothers when we were just babies. He wouldn’t stand to have his children not understand his native language, blood related or not.]”_

_“[Hmm, I see.]” Usagi said with a pleased grin, “[Well he did a wonderful job. You speak it beautifully, Leonardo-san.]”_

_“[A-ah, thank you]”Leonardo felt the faintest of blushes  dust over his cheeks at Usagi’s compliment. He cleared his throat before he continue to talk, in english this time, “So… what brings you out to the cafe this late in the evening?”_

_Usagi hummed, “Well… I had a bit of a craving and not just any treat would do. Their blueberry scones are to die for and I found myself in the neighborhood so… it was a no-brainer, really.”_  

_“Sooo… while on the hunt to sait your sugar craving, you stopped to buy me a much needed cup of liquid sunshine, saving me from face planting into the table?” Leo said, a mild giggle in his voice, “...My hero.”_

_“I… well, I am always happy to help,” Usagi’s expression turned bashful, “... I didn’t mean to distract you. It_ **_is_ ** _rather late and I’m not sure how much more work you have to do s-so I… ano.”_

_Leonardo blinked slowly, the fluttering in his chest getting worse as the rabbit continued to adorably rambling, “... I don’t mind the company, you know? I’ve been lost in papers for pretty much the whole day; I could use a short break… that is if you’d like to talk for a little while long--”_

_“Yes!” Usagi said bluntly, quicker than Leo had expected, causing the turtle to sputter out a bout of laughter. The rabbit raised a hand to nervously scratch at his cheek, unsure of what to say next after his outburst, “I-I mean, I would like that very much.”_

_Leo finished his laughter before he stood to his feet, grabbing his phone along the way, “My only condition, however, is that you let me buy you one of those scones you were talking about. It’s only fair.”_  

_“That would be lovely, thank you Leonardo,” Usagi said, stepped to the side to allow Leo to walk beside him as they made their way over to the cafe counter._

_“Please, call me Leo,” the turtle said with a large, brilliant grin, “That’s what everyone else does.”_

_Usagi mirrored the grin, “Alright… Thank you, Leo.”_

 

* * *

 

 **Present Day**  

Leo sighed, his eyes catching sight of a corner cafe that was still bustling with the after-work crowd. He’d been minding his own business, reading a book in the window seat on the bus as the driver slowed down to a halt at a traffic light. He felt his gaze shift to the window naturally, looking out at the quaint establishment, it’s warm vibe, bustling clientele, and delicious window pastries reminding him so much of the little coffee shop he had met Usagi at years before. 

Leo sighed through his nose in frustration, closing the book suddenly and turning his gaze away from the store when he caught sight of a couple casually cuddling and talking with each other in a window booth.

‘ _God, I hate this…_ ’ He thought, his grip on the book tightened for a moment before he stiffly put it back in his bag, opting to look through his emails on his phone instead, ‘ _Why?... Why today of all days?_ ’

Leonardo was finding it very difficult to not think of the white rabbit he had met four years ago and dated for three. Ever since he had woken up that morning, memories of their time together still fresh in his mind, he had found that he couldn’t stop thinking of his… _ex_ whenever he had a moment alone to himself. He had no idea why this trend had suddenly started up today but it was starting to _really_ piss him off.

Normally, the turtle would only think of Usagi once or twice in a single week, wondering if the rabbit was okay and taking care of himself. This was the first time in a long while that he thought of his ex-boyfriend this much in one day, though. Nevertheless, he wasn’t in the mood to spiral down the ‘what if’ thought trap or get depressed about how unresolved their break up had been. After all, it didn’t happen for the traditional reasons people would normally think of; neither of them had cheated and they didn’t lose interest in each other either.

‘ _God, if only it were that simple_ ,’ Leo thought sadly before he shook his head suddenly, as if that action would stop his train of thought, ‘ _No… no, Leo. Just let it go_ . _He made his decision..._ ’

Just as he started to mentally reprimand himself again, his phone began to vibrate in his hands, his list of emails vanished and was swiftly replaced by a picture of his immediate younger brother’s face. Leo rolled his eyes, snorting at the picture-- Raphael flexing dramatically with a muscle shirt that read ‘ _... But Did You Die?_ ’ across the front.

“This dork…,” Leo said under his breath with a fondness that only a brother could pull off while also saying an insult. He answered the phone, bringing it to his ear, “Hey Raph.”

“ **Hey there old tima** ,” Raphael answered on the other end, his gruff voice filled with a mixture of happiness and humor, “ **Where ya at? Dontcha normally get to yer apartment by 6:30?** ”

Leo’s eye ridge twitched be he ignored his brother’s passive insult, “Raph, it’s only 6:32… wait, are you... at my building right now?”

“ **Yeah, ya think? Casey’s here too.** ”

Leo heard Casey’s voice on the other end, his voice sounding a little further away, “ **Sup Leo! We got some bruskies! They gettin’ warm though…** ”

Raphael continued, “ **We’ve been waitin’ here fer about 10 minutes now. When’re ya gettin’ here? Or has the hobblin’ settled in fasta then ya thought.** ”

“I’m going to punch you when I see you,” Leo said without missing a beat, a laugh in his voice, “I… I thought you weren’t free tonight.”

“ **Well, surprise Fearless** ,” Raph said, using Leo’s childhood nickname for good measure, “ **I’m here.** ”

Leo’s mild frown from earlier was swiftly replaced with a heartfelt smile. He had honestly thought that his brother would be too busy to hang out tonight due to his personal training schedule. He could have sworn Raph had said he was pretty much booked until their own workout session at the MMA gym that Friday. Did that mean that Raph cancelled his appointments just so he could hang out with him on his birthday?

“...I’ll be there in the next few minutes. I’m only 2 stops away,” Leo said , clearing his throat before he spoke, trying to keep the happiness out of his voice, “Can you wait that long, hothead?”

Raph sighed with fake exasperation, “ **I guess. Patience is a virtue when it comes ta old people, am I right or am I right Case?** ”

Leo heard Casey snort out a guffaw before he sucked his teeth, “Dork. I’ll see you in a minute.”

Within the next five minutes, Leonardo had stepped off of the bus and started his short, two block walk over to his apartment building, his mind thinking of what food to order for the evening and asking Karai and Donatello to come over to his place instead of going out. As he walked, an odd feeling began to tug at the back of his mind… something that made a mild shiver run through him and for his pace to slow down to a momentary stop. It had felt like… someone was watching him at that moment; he took a quick glance around but didn’t notice anyone shooting him a curious glance or out right staring at him.

He hummed, pushing the feeling off as him being tired and continued on his path to his apartment. It was odd… he’d been feeling this way for the past few weeks now but he had pretty much written it off as stress from this semester’s midterms and the new study sessions he had added to his class schedule. There was going to be a couple of all nighters this week prepping his students and his exams so that had to be it… right?

As Leonardo walk through the glass doors at the entrance of his apartment building, he was welcomed by the sight-- and sound-- of Raphael and Casey, both shouting a loud greeting at him in unsynchronized unison in the lobby. The door man, a man a little older than Leo in appearance, raised his eyebrow at the pair before stifling a laugh from behind his desk.

Leo shook his head as he walked up to the two of them, giving them a dull look, “How old are you guys, _seven_? Oh and Raph?”

“Ye-- Ow!” Raphael started just before Leo, gave him a solid punch in his arm, making him pout playfully back in return, “What the hell was that fer?”

“Did you think I was kidding about punching you?” Leo asked with a playful glare, “You know you’re only a few months younger than me, right?”

“Nah, imma be forever young, Fearless,” He said with a snigger, “Anywayz, we’re celebratin’ tonight. Beers and pizza, a feast fit fer a king.”

Leo at that moment, just noticed that his brother was carrying a large bag of beer and Casey was holding three large pizza boxes. He blinked back at them in bewilderment, a mixture of suspicion and confusion crossed his face, “That’s… a lot of stuff for just us, guys.”

“Well invite some people then,” Raphael said with a cheeky grin, “The more, the merrier!”

Leo shook his head with a grin, retrieving his keys from his pocket while walking towards the elevator, “What are you trying to do? Give me a hangover half way through the week?”

“Aw, come on, you know you don’t have class tomorrow. And ya _know_ how ta hold yer beer,” Casey said, following the older turtle close. He had already slipped a hand into the top most pizza box, pulling a slice out for immediate consumption, “Don’t sell yerself short, dude. I’ve seen ya outdrink Raph before.”

Leo wasn’t facing his brother as the elevator doors opened for them but he could feel the emerald turtle glaring at his friend with offense, “Wha the-- Outdrink _me_? What’re ya on about?”

“Being able to drink more than someone else isn’t something you should be proud of, hothead,” Leo said dully as they walked onto the elevator, “... _But_ you probably don’t remember it since you blacked out and started singing ‘Journey’ at the top of your lungs that one time.”

“W-what? No I--,” Raph started before Leo cut in again.

“I have photo evidence, dear brother,” Leo said over his shoulder in a falsely saccharine voice as he hit the floor button to his apartment, “Remember, _don’t stop believing_.”

“Dick,” Raph grumbled out as Casey’s iconic guffaw filled the elevator just as the doors closed.

 

* * *

 

 

“SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”

Leo had not expected that. He should have, given his youngest brother's innocent gesture of blueberry pancakes and peppered bacon that morning. He should have known when Raphael and Casey bought enough pizza and beer to feed a small army. He should have been at least a little suspicious when no one was able to respond back to him when he prodded them for their evening plans.

It was because they were all here, standing in the middle of his apartment with beaming, brilliant grins that could have rivaled the vibrance of the sun. He had jumped back a little at their exclamation, Raphael catching him by the shell so that he didn't knock them both over.

Karai and April were standing in the middle of the group, both setting off party poppers the moment Leo turned the lights on in the apartment. Mikey stood next to April, grinning his large, boyish grin while bouncing happily in place. Donatello, the only brother Leo hadn’t see that day, stood with a tame but genuine smile, his form slightly drowning in his signature purple hoodie. He was carrying a steaming black mug, probably filled with freshly brewed coffee, no doubt. Leatherhead, Donnie long time boyfriend of five years, stood next to him, enthusiastically holding a hand draw birthday sign high over everyone’s heads. It wasn’t a hard thing for him to do, the alligator was massive in height and build. Angel, Raphael’s girlfriend, was waving her arms fanatically with excitement and happiness, her smile brilliant and wide. His father, Yoshi-- fondly nicknamed Splinter-- looking very much out of character with a party hat worn on top of his head, standing off to the side with a small gift bag in his hands.

“H-how… uh, w-what is…” He was at a loss for words, so much so that everyone chuckled at his adorably perplexed expression.

Mikey stepped forward with a cheesy grin, “Ssso, I had something planned after all… but you can't hate me this time around since it was _for_ you. Not only did you get a rockin’ breakfast, but a killer party planned out by yours truly.”

“ _What_? Oh, get over yourself,” Donnie grumbled out loudly, stepping out from next to the hulking frame of his partner, “I’m the one that came up with the idea. You just had the sneaky ways needed to pull it off in the first place.”

“Oh yeah!? Well I--” Mikey started, turning to argue with the brainy turtle but was stopped abruptly by Leo.

“Guys, guys,” Leo said, finally gathering his bearings and meeting his two younger brothers halfway, placing a hand on each of their shoulders in an understanding gesture, “... You’re both getting bopped equally… but thank you for this.”

He pulled them into a hug that they returned wholeheartedly. He leaned towards Mikey before he pulled away and whispered, “... You still owe me your Switch though…”

Mikey groaned loudly, causing Leo and Donnie to laugh at his response and his exaggerated pouty expression. Raph and Casey walked the rest of the way into the room, grinning their wide, shit-eating grins before heading to the kitchen and setting up the food and beer they had brought.

“Come on birthday boy,” Raph said as he flipped the pizza boxes open, the smell of warm cheese, meats, and sauces immediately filling the air, “Get yer first pick of cheese, pepperoni, vegetarian, or gross ass hawaiian.”

“Hey, don't knock it till you try it dude,” Casey said, a pout in his voice at his friend dissing his pizza choices, “The sweetness of the pineapples and the saltiness of the cheese--”

“Shaddap,” Raph cut in as Leo walked over, grabbing a paper plate which seemed to spur everyone else to start crowding around the island. Angel bounced lightly on the balls of her feet over to Raph, coming up to hug him from behind. The hot-headed turtle's usual teasing smirk morphed and softened into a genuine smile, “Hey babe.”

“Hey hon,” She said sweetly before she turned her attention to Leo as he loaded his plate up with two slices of pepperoni, “Hey Leo, long time no see. How's teaching going?”

Leonardo shrugged, “It's going pretty well. All my students seem to be picking up Japanese or Spanish very well. Have a few that are lagging but that's college life in general.”

Her lips tugged into a smirk, her wavy purple hair shifting slightly as she tilted her head teasingly, “[Oh? Still know how to roll those R's, my dear?]”

“[Don't insult me, woman]” Leo shot back in Spanish, overemphasizing his enunciation,“[You should be saying that to your boyfriend over here. You've been dating for 2 years and he hasn't picked up a _little_ Spanish? Hell, he doesn’t even know when I'm insulting him half the time.”]

“Fuck you Leo,” Raph shot back, causing Leo to smirk back at his immediate younger brother and for Angel to laugh, “I don't care what language yer speakin’, I know when yer talkin’ shit ‘bout me.” 

“Language Raphael,” Splinter said from behind everyone, causing everyone to snicker.

“Sorry pops,” Raph said on reflex before he whispered under his breath to Leo just before he took his plate of 4 slices of pizza into the living room, Angel following him as she giggled, “ _... But seriously, fuck you_.”

Leo shook his head as he chuckled. Just as he got ready to enter his living room with his food, a short glass filled with liquid-- probably his go to cocktail of rum and coke-- appear in front of his face. He blinked, recognizing the painted red nails and flawless pale skin of the hand that held it out for him immediately. He took the glass gratefully before he turned around to face his friend and ex, Karai. Her hair was cut perfectly into an asymmetrical bob and her makeup flawless as painted red lips separated to smile up at him, “Hello _professor_.”

He smiled back at her, “Hello _princess_. How's Oroku Saki and his grumpy ass face doing?" 

She sighed out playfully, “Grumpy. Always. That's his default state. Don't you know this already?”

He shrugged, “Just checking if there was an update. I need to know if I should start prepping for Armageddon whenever he cracks a smile.”

She laughed heartily, “I'll keep track of that doomsday clock for you, no worries. How are you doing, hm? The last few months have been a bit hectic for us both; I've missed your face.”

Leo snickered, “I've missed yours too. And everything's been fine so far. Classes are good, work out regimen's on point and--”

“Dating again?” She cut in, tilting her head to the side with curiosity.

“God, why is everyone asking me that today? Is there a sign on my forehead screaming 'please date me’?” Leo said with mild exasperation in his voice before taking a quick sip of his drink and sighing with contentment, “Mm, this is perfect, thank you.”

“No problem,” She acknowledged, “But no changing the subject, sir. I'm just asking because I've got a couple of coworkers in mind that seemed interested in you. And can you blame them? Especially when you stroll into my agency after a workout session, looking like a _snack_.”

Leo blushed lightly, remembering the last time he had visited Karai at her design agency and how several of her coworkers either stared longingly at him from across the room or attempted to awkwardly start a conversation with him out of the blue, “... So they _were_ staring at me. You told me they were just being nosy.”

“I didn't want it to go to your head,” she said with a shrug before her eyebrows furrowed, “But, in all honesty Leo… it's been over a year. Your attractive, successful, and available, why not get back out there?" 

He raised an eyeridge at her as he started to walk towards the living room where everyone had congregated and where Mikey was setting the TV up to do… _something_ . She followed his lead as he responded, uncertainty in his voice, “... Karai, can we _not_ have this conversation. It’s celebration time; let's not bring up my love life… or a lack there of right now.”

“I know and I’m sorry…” She started, frowning lightly at her friend and pausing in her movements towards the living room momentarily. Leo paused as well, not wanting to bring the conversation within earshot of everyone else, “It’s just that… well... Leo, I just want you to be happy.”

“... What makes you think that I’m not happy?” He smiled reassuringly down at her even though a part of him definitely thought otherwise.

She stared up at him, her dark brown eyes flickering over his face for a moment before she spoke again, “... Because I know you.”

He blinked down at her slowly, his smile wavered a little as he took her words in. No… he wasn’t really happy, at least not in the relationship department but he felt way better than he had over a year ago. He was surrounded by the support of his friends and family, and he loved his job so, at the moment, it was more than enough, “Karai… please don't worry about me. I'm okay; I promise. It's been rough but you and everyone else have gotten me through it. I'm just… I’m not ready yet… and I’m _okay_ with that.”

“... Alright,” she sighed out before shooting the turtle a small smile, “But I'll be looking out for any symptoms of you turning into a curmudgeon. I can't have that happening on my watch.”

Leo laughed and opened his mouth to answer her but was cut off by the voice of his baby brother trying to get his attention.

“Hey old man!” Mikey’s boyish voice called from in front of the television, “Get your butt over here. It's time to get out of professor mood and into party mode! Let's get _lit_!”

“Don't _ever_ say those words to me again,” Leo said immediately, rolling his eyes at his brother's antics as he finally walked into the living room, Karai following his lead.

 

* * *

 

The party was a blast. It been a long while since Leonardo had seen everyone together in one place. Throughout the night, Leonardo would stop to thank his brothers for making the evening happen in the first place. Raphael keep on telling him to stop being sappy, although he welcomed his older brother’s drunkenly affectionate hugs with a warm smile on his face. Michelangelo was forever the bubbly one, welcoming Leo’s praise and gushing at how heartfelt the blue loving turtle’s words were. He was also extremely happy that Leo decided not to take his Switch after all.

Splinter had laid the fatherly love on thick, letting Leo know that he was proud of him and that it was an honor to have raised him into the fine young man that he was today.

“Dad, stooop,” Leo had playfully whined out, causing the old rat to let out a fond chuckle.

“Happy birthday my son,” He said with a wide grin, presenting a gift bag for Leo to peek into. Inside, there was a rather large DVD box set. 

Leo had blinked, surprised and curious, “Is… is that--”

“All 10 seasons of All Lives to Live? Yes,” the rat confirmed, a secretive glint lighting up his eyes as he handed the bag over, “I was hoping that we could have a watch party sometime soon… that is if you don't mind ‘hanging out’ with this old man.”

“Oooh dad, thank you. I would love that. I'll bring the snacks and make the tea.”

Donatello -- forever the silent and thoughtful type -- he had talked with Leonardo for almost the entire night and that, in itself, was a present. Since the brainy turtle worked in tech and was pretty much running an incubator out of his garden unit apartment, they rarely got to talk if at all and Leo really missed their conversations. They could go weeks without a face-to-face visits… but at least the brainy turtle would drop a text or two throughout the week, letting Leo know that he was alive. And if Donnie every forgot, Leatherhead would send a text out on his behalf. 

All of his other friends were absolutely wonderful, showing love in every way they could. Leatherhead, an intimidating man just by his height and muscle mass alone, shot him a toothy grin as he picked him up unceremoniously and gave him an large hug. This was something the alligator habitually did with all the members of the Hamato family, especially during times of celebration.

April and Casey had brought out a double chocolate cupcake, a singular lit candle standing in the middle of the mocha buttercream icy. April had demanded that Leo make a wish with a cute smile.

“I’m a grown turtle, Ape,” Leo had said, furrowing his eye ridges, “I haven’t made a birthday cake wish since I was in high school.”

She pouted at him, her emerald green orb glittering with the candle light, “You’re never too old to make a wish. Come on, just close your eyes.~”

Leo shot her a playfully dull look before he did what she asked, closing his eyes and inhaling with preparation. He remembered internally frowning, hating that his mind automatically thought of Usagi and hoping that he was alive and well before he blew out the candle successful. He had felt way better after eating the treat, a childish grin tugging at his lips at the rich and sweet taste of it.

Karai had given him a gift, a rather thick book filled with poetry and haiku written in Japanese. It had been a rather unique gift; the book looked like a well kept antique, it’s pages looked old but preserved in some way or another. He had tried to asked her where she had gotten it from and how much she had spent on it; she simply winked, telling him to enjoy it.

“... This didn’t cost a lot did it?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at her.

“... Define ‘a lot’?” She had said back innocently.

The party came to a naturally lull at around 11pm, everyone slowly leaving the apartment at their own paces with goodbyes and promises to hang out sometime in the near future. Leo thanked everyone profusely for the party, happy that he didn’t have to spend that evening alone. With the way his thoughts had gone for the whole day, he didn’t feel like he would be going to bed in the right frame of mind. Rather… if no one had gotten back to him about his original plans for a birthday dinner, he would have probably drowned out his sorrows with the remaining bottles of beer he had in his refrigerator.

When the last few people left for the evening-- Donatello and Leatherhead with sleepy, drunken grins--  at around 11:35pm, Leonardo found himself releasing a content sigh as he locked his apartment door behind him. His apartment wasn’t too much of a mess; there were a couple of beer bottles and red solo cups on his kitchen counter but, other than that, it didn’t seem like there was a lot he had to clean up in the morning.

He hummed in thought, his eyes honing in on the scotch decanter he had on his living room coffee table. He leisurely fetched a clean short glass from one of the shelves in his kitchen before he made his way towards the living room and plopping down on his sofa. One more drink with some late night television wouldn’t hurt.

When he finished pouring about 3 ounces worth of scotch into his glass, he reached for his phone in his back pocket, turning on the screen in order to read through his notifications real quick. After dismissing several random emails and social media updates, he found himself blinking with confusion when he saw he had three missed calls from a phone number he didn’t recognize. He hadn’t felt his phone vibrate in his pocket but he quickly realized that he had silenced his phone during his last class of the day.

He tilted his head, seeing that the last call had came in only 20 minutes ago. Maybe it had been someone that wanted to send him a birthday wish that might have been some sort of acquaintance? That… or a very persistent spam caller.

Either way, Leo decided to call the number back. Hopefully, he could catch the person and find out who it was before he turned in for the night. He lifted the phone to his ear, the phone ringing a few times before it stop; someone had picked up and it sounded like they were struggling a little to bring the receiver up to their mouth.

“ **... Hello?** ” A male voice on the other end answered, mildly weighted with sleep and a bit muffled.

Leo cursed lightly under his breath, sympathy entering his voice, “Oh no, I-I'm so sorry, I woke you didn’t I? I just saw someone called me from this number a few times and I was hoping to catch them before--.”

“ **Leo...** ” The voice asked, clearer and a bit more coherent. The turtle blinked, his nervous rambling coming to an immediate halt as his form stiffening with anxiety. He knew that voice… it was the same voice that had been plaguing his thoughts and daydreams for the entire day, driving him crazy and threatening to throw him back into melancholy.

“... Usagi?”


	3. Cloudburst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was an interestingly angsty one to write… and it took several attempts to get it right just because it is a bit of an emotional roller coast. Think awkward mixed with anger and sadness. Get ready for a little more context into what happened between them and what might have happened that caused them to split up. I hope you guys enjoy :3

**Flashback - 4 years ago**

_“... Leo? Leo?”_

_The turtle shifted slightly with a faint groan as he was gently coaxed out of his slumber by a smooth voice. He was leaning against something warm… and soft? It felt a lot more comfortable than the pillows that he had bought for his bedroom a few months back. None of them were this plush. Whatever it was, it was magic; he released a content sigh as his face shifted closer to the warmth, sleep slowly creeping back in before the voice stirred him again._

_“L-leo uh… the movie’s over.”_

_‘_ **_Movie? What movie?’_ ** _Leo thought absently, his eyes reluctantly opening and then focusing in on a large screen mounted on the wall in front of him. He first noticed that the screen was black, rolling the credits of an movie he had started to watch earlier. He then noticed that his head was angled, leaning against something-- the warm and soft mass he had noted while he was drifting in and out of consciousness._

_He stiffened, remembering that he was, in fact, supposed to be in the middle of a date… not sleeping halfway through an movie (and an action movie no less). He shifted, sitting up straight and realized that the comfortable mass he had been leaning against was Usagi. His face had been nestled against the crook of the rabbit’s neck, Usagi’s arm was draped behind Leo’s shoulders, keeping him comfortably upright._

_Groggy grey eyes met curious coral ones after a few seconds of silence. Within a few contemplative breaths, Leo’s face became slightly flushed with embarrassment as the horrifying realization finally hit him. His eyes flicked around the movie theater, noticing that there were a few stragglers slowly making their way to the exits and theater staff absently cleaning the floors of discarded candy wrappers and heaps of spilled popcorn. They were really the only people still sitting comfortably in their seats._

_“Hey…,” Usagi breathed out, a small smirked pulled at his lips, “Sleep well?”_

_Leo released an exasperated groan, closing his eyes and lifting a hand to pinch at the bridge of his nose, “Oh God. I can’t believe I did that…”_

_The rabbit hummed out a negative response, shaking his head as his playful smirk turned into a warm smile, “It’s alright. You seemed really tired tonight; it looked like you needed the nap.”_

_It had been nearly a month since Leo and Usagi had exchanged numbers at the coffee shop they frequented and this had only been their second date. It wasn't like the terrapin didn't like the rabbit… actually, the exact opposite. It had been such a long time since he actually felt such a strong chemistry with someone… but his TA duties had taken a sharp turn suddenly from stable to hectically busy. This forced Leo to have to cancel or reschedule any plans that they would try to make. Still… the rabbit had started to make a habit of dropping by the university in between Leo’s classes so that they could talk and grab lunch from the surrounding food carts. It's was sweet… endearing… but it also made the turtle scared._

_What if… what if Usagi got annoyed with him and decided he wasn't interested anymore? It wouldn't have been the first time that would happened… but it didn't want it to happen this time._

_Leo lifting his gaze again to respond to Usagi, “I-I’m sorry. I just wanted tonight to go well. And what do I do? Fall asleep halfway through our date...”_

_“You haven’t been flaky. Just busy,” Usagi rationalized, his expression turned sympathetic, “You teach three classes and assist in two. That doesn’t sound easy for anyone.”_

_Usagi paused before his arm slightly tightening around Leo’s shoulders, “Besides, I had no problem being your pillow for the evening.”_

_“A-ah ha,” Leo laughed out sarcastically, his face heating up a little, “Uh, h-how was the movie? I know action films are kind of touch and go.”_

_“It was mostly alright,” Usagi said honestly, before smirking again, “It was comfortably and reassuringly predictable. There was a high speed chase, an overabundance of guns, a lot of implied sex, and wonderfully colorful language. Oh! And how can I forget the explosions? So… less touch and more go, in my opinion.”_

_Leo laughed, “So not boring at all?”_

_“Nope, not in the slightest,” he said shaking his head before leaning a little closer to the turtle, “... Although, you were also extremely adorable. That helped as well.”_

_“... What do you mean?”_

_He chuckled, “Well, you mumble in your sleep. I couldn’t make out anything you were saying but it was very amusing to watch. Do you do that only when your exhausted or everytime you sleep?”_

_“_ **_W-what?_ ** _” Leonardo stuttered out, attempting to shift away from the rabbit due to nothing but pure embarrassment and the need to find a corner in the room to hide in. Unfortunately, Usagi wouldn’t let him, his form leaning even closer to the mildly horrified turtle as the rabbit’s grip tighten ever so slightly, “I still_ **_do_ ** _that?”_

_Usagi furrowed his eyebrows though the smirk was still present on his face, “What’s the matter? There’s nothing to be shy about; It was absolutely precious--”_

_“Stop it,” Leo said curtly, embarrassment rising within his gut and across his face, “S-stop making fun of me, alright? That’s not--”_

_Before Leo could get out another word, Usagi swiftly leaned forward and placed a tender kiss on Leo's lips. Leonardo stiffened, startled by the suddenness of their first kiss but not being disappointed by it either. After a few short seconds, Leo felt himself melt naturally against the other’s lips, his eyes closing with bliss. A faint flush came to his cheeks as Usagi brought his hand up to gently touch Leonardo's face. Padded fingertips slide sensually against the turtle's jaw before cradling his cheek tenderly. Leo's stomach felt like it was doing flips for the Olympics, his head spinning in a haze of contentment for several wonderful seconds before Usagi slowly pulled away._

_Both of their eyes opened to lock onto each other, Leo's face dazed as he slowly found his voice, “That... t-that came out of nowhere.”_

_“I've wanted to do that for a while…,” Usagi admitted honestly, smiling softly back at the other, “And I wasn’t trying to make fun of you. You_ **_were_ ** _being adorable and, also…”_

 _He paused, his smile widening as his eyes flickered over the terrapin's face as if to commit it to memory, “I like you …_ **_a lot_ ** _. I'm not going to run away simply because of a busy schedule or a uniquely endearing quirk, trust me.”_

_Leonardo stared at Usagi for another few seconds, his overall embarrassment waning, although now he just felt silly for assuming that Usagi was being rude or dishonest with him, “… Can I be honest with you about something?”_

_Usagi blinked, mild curiosity touched his features before he dipped his chin down with a nod, “Of course.”_

_Leo sighed softly through his nose before biting his lip nervously out of habit. Usagi eyes flickered down momentarily at the motion, which wasn’t helping the flush gradually spreading across the turtle’s face, “Every time I’ve tried dating someone this year, my schedule has always seemed to put a damper on things. I normally wouldn’t care-- if someone doesn’t want to date me because of a temporarily busy schedule then it wasn’t worth it in the end.”_

_He paused, his eyes sliding away momentarily from Usagi’s intense stare, “... but I do care now. With you.”_

_“Why?” Usagi asked gently, his smooth voice coaxing Leo's attention back towards him._

_“I-I don't know,” Leo admitted honestly, “...You’re awesome, for one. Beyond interesting… funny… hell, you bring me food when I’m waist deep in grading papers. And there’s a lot more that I can’t think of right now but all I know is that I like you too and… and I don't want to mess this up, you know? Ugh, I know this sounds super corny--”_

_“It doesn't,” Usagi's expression turned a little bashful at Leo’s words, his eyes softening as his thumb affectionately rubbing over the turtle's cheek, “And you haven't messed anything up. You already got me hooked; I'm not going anywhere... not unless you want me to.”_

_Leo felt his heart thump, a warm smile pulling at his lips as Usagi slide his hand away from the turtle’s face reluctantly, "You're too smooth for your own good, you know that?"_

_Usagi shrugged a shoulder, his mouth splitting into a heart stopping grin, "Who?_ **_Me_ ** _? I have no idea what you're talking abo-- Mmf!"_

_Usagi was immediately silenced when Leo swiftly closed the gap between them, eagerly pressing his lips against the rabbit's. Usagi hummed happily, smiling against Leo's lips before he returned the kiss wholeheartedly._

 

**Present**

Leonardo sat dumbfounded in the middle of his sofa, his eyes staring blankly at the wall and television in front of him. He was pretty sure his brain had broken at that exact moment; emotions of every kind seemed to be in the middle of a war, fighting for absolute domination: anger, worry, happiness, sadness, confusion. He wasn’t sure what he should be feeling at that exact moment but the first one that passed, however, before anything else was relief; hearing Usagi’s voice on the other end, knowing that the rabbit was alive and well after a whole year abroad in an active war zone was a blessing.

He opened his mouth, taking in air, getting ready to speak but… none of the right words seemed to be manifesting correctly in his mind. What could he say? He had thought of so many things to say to the other if he had gotten the chance to talk to him again. How is it that all of those words he wished he could have said were gone now?

He closed his mouth, uncertainty building within him. This couldn't be real right? He… he had to be dreaming. He must have passed out on the sofa just as he was getting ready to start clicking through the TV channels. Yeah, that had to be--  

“ **... Leo? Leo... Are you still there?** ”

“... I… I-I… this is…,” Leo's shoulders stiffened at hearing the other talk again, the rabbit's voice now completely coherent. His lips tightened into a hard line, his chest tightening as the mixture of emotions within him battled on for control, “God, I can’t do this right n--”

“ **Don’t hang up** ,” Usagi said immediately, his voice assertive but weighted with an exhaustion Leo couldn’t place. The rabbit must have picked up on Leonardo’s next actions since the turtle was literally in the middle of pulling the phone away from his face with the sole mission of ending the call with a tap of his finger tip, “ **Please…** **_please_ ** **, don’t hang up.** ”

" _Why_ ?" Leo said back with a harshness in his tone, his simmering emotions leaking out of him like a toxin. He brought the phone back to his ear, his free hand tightened around his glass as a year’s worth of anger and sadness started to fill his voice, “Why the hell shouldn't I? After everything you’ve done-- what you put me through-- I have every right to. Forget being mad with you… I’m fucking **_nuclear_ **.”

His chest ached when he paused, his vocal cords tight and his face hot. His hand gripped at the glass so tightly, it was shaking. He stopped himself from biting his lip; he felt that he would cut himself if he did. He sighed roughly after several seconds, glaring out the balcony windows in the living room before he began to speak again, his tone harsh and low, “You just… you just _left_ . You didn’t call or stop by the university. You just left me a note. A goddamn _note_ ? What the _actual_ fuck?”

“ **Leo, I --** ” Usagi started, his tone dripping with an apology, with remorse but Leonardo didn’t need that. Not right now, when he was drunk, angry, and depressed.

" _No,_ " Leo said as sternly as he could, hating that his eyes began to burn with repressed tears, "No, you do _not_ get to do this today. You can't just _decide_ to call out of the blue when you've ignored every call, every text, every email-- fuck, I even contemplated smoke signals at one point. You don't get to just... j-just..."

Leo paused, closing his eyes and taking a deep, cleansing breath before he attempted to speak again. He carefully took a sip of his glass, allowing the alcohol to slide down his throat and to warm his stomach; at least it provided some level of comfort, "Why... _Why_ did you call, Usagi? Cause... honestly, this is a bit cruel."

" **...I'm sorry** ," Usagi said sincerely, his tone full of remorse, " **I'm not trying to hurt you any further than I already have... and I know hearing me isn't helping but... I-I just...** "

He paused for a few seconds, Leo listening as he heard the rabbit shift around on the other end of the phone. The turtle tilted his head and raised an eye ridge curiously when he heard Usagi release a faint noise of discomfort. He continued a few seconds after he settled, " **... I just didn't know who else to talk to right now.** "

Leo could hear the mild desperation in his ex's voice; there was a hidden plea that Leonardo knew the rabbit wouldn't explain unless asked directly. It may have been a long while since the turtle had seen or spoken to his former lover but when it came to telling the truth about how he was feeling, Usagi would rather let it fester within him than bring attention to it. Leo never understood why Usagi did this and, in all honesty, it was one of the only things the two would ever argue about... that and Usagi's job as a mercenary.

The turtle thought over what he should say next as he stood to his feet, taking one last, long sip of his drink before he placed it on the coffee table and walked slowly over to the closed glass doors that led out to his balcony. He sighed, lightly shaking his head as he leaned against the frame of the doors lazily.

"...  If your ex-boyfriend is the only person you can talk to in the whole known universe, than something must be terribly wrong," Leo stated, his tone tired and mildly sarcastic... even though he felt the tendrils of concern and worry tickle at the edges of his mind, "Look... I'm not sure if I'm ready to speak with you, Usagi--"

" **Please, I know I--** "

" _But_ ," Leo said, cutting Usagi off swiftly, "I can give you _five_ minutes. Any longer than that and I reserve the right to hang up on you if I want to."

" **I'm... not sure if this is a five minute conversation** ," Usagi said slowly, as if he were carefully choosing his words.

"That's all my sanity can afford at the moment," Leo sighed out, blinking slowly as he looked out of the glass doors and across the city scape before him, "Depending on this conversation, I may decide never to speak to you again."

" **R-right** ," Usagi said, the discomfort raising in his voice again before he continued on with a more even tone. Leo frowned at the faint, suppressed noises the rabbit was making, unsure of what they were but he held his tongue, " **I... I don't even know where to begin.** "

"Why don't you start with why you feel like I am the only person you can talk to?" Leo said , his eyes looking to the sky and locking onto the lights of a slow moving plane, "What about the crew you work with? The military company you work for? You've been friends with them for years before you met me."

" **That's… kind of why I’m calling** ," He answered, the tiniest hint of sorrow entering his voice before he continued, " **Something happened... about a week ago now and... I-I don't...** "

Leo's frown deepened, not liking where the conversation was going or how the calm in Usagi's voice slowly started to break down, "... What happened?"

Usagi took a deep breath, a few contemplative seconds passed before he spoke again, " **... On my last assignment, my team and I... we were ambushed.** "

Leo blinked, his stomach dropping as a sense of dread came over him, "What?"

" **There was a leak of information from within the group. Information about our whereabouts, how many of us there were going to be... our background and skill level** ," The rabbit tried his hardest to keep it together over the phone but Leo could hear Usagi's voice break ever so often, " **We don't know who did it or why... but a lot of us didn't make it.** "

Leo swallowed, his arm crossing over his chest and gripped his elbow as a shiver went through him. Clearly Usagi was alive and talking with him... but he didn't like the concept that the rabbit might not have been only a few short days ago, "... H-how many?"

" **Ten of us were assigned... only three of us made it back.** "

Leo held his breath, remembering meeting some of Usagi's team whenever they were all in town. He had no idea which ones had survived or not... but there was one person that immediately popped up in Leo's mind; Usagi's best friend of nearly thirteen years, Mifune. The older tiger was tall, intimidating, and built for combat, but was one of the kindest people Leonardo ever had the privilege of meeting. He was a jovial man who knew how to bring life and positivity into any room and who Leo could easily call a very good friend of his, despite only knowing him for about three years.

If it were possible, Leo's stomach fell even further, "... What about Mifune?"

" **He...** ," Usagi started, a quiver entered his voice as he continued to speak, " **H-he didn't make it, Leo. I couldn't... I-I wasn't able to...** "

Usagi release a shaky breath, attempting to calm himself, " **We didn't make it back to base fast enough. He... passed during evac.** "

"God... " Leo breathed out, his free hand coming up to cover his mouth. His eyes began to water again, this time with sorrow; guilt began to pool up within him, "I’m… I’m so sorry, Usagi. I don't even... I-I didn’t mean--"

" **No, no. Please** ,” Usagi said, cutting Leo off gently even though his voice continued to shake, albeit very faintly, “ **You have every right to be angry with me. I did something horrible and I have no excuses for it... but you're the only person I ... that I feel** **_comfortable_ ** **talking with right now and I--** “

Usagi cut himself off as he released a low hiss of pain, causing Leo to blink with confusion and concern, "What? What's wrong?"

Usagi cursed under his breath as Leo heard him shift around again, “ **N-nothing’s wrong… just… a little banged up.** ”

“Banged up?” Leo questioned, narrowing his eyes a little, “What are you--?”

Leo stopped himself before he finished the question, remember what Usagi had just said only a few short moment before. Usagi and his team had been in an ambush that had resulted in the deaths of more than half of their ranks. Sure, Usagi survived but that didn’t mean that he came out of it unscathed.

“You’re hurt… ” Leo finally said after several seconds of realization, his free hand reaching up to nervously tug at the shirt sleeve of his other arm.

“ **Yeah** ,” Usagi breathed out carefully, as if the action would hurt him if he didn’t, “ **Just a few bruised ribs and… a scar or two but I’m okay. You should see the other guy.** ”

“Usagi…” Leo breathed out, shaking his head lightly, “You… you’re not still on your assignment, are you? _Please_ say no.”

“ **No… no, I’m not** ,” Usagi confirmed, the distress in his voice now mostly gone; now he just sounded exhausted, “ **For one, I’m not cleared to take on any more assignments; I’m hobbling all over the damn place. And for another, no one's working until the leak is located and addressed. For the meantime, everyone is on break.”**

“On… break?” Leo blinked, straightening up a little at Usagi's words just as a blaring question popped up in his mind. The turtle's breath caught in his throat for a moment, “... Where are you right now?”

There was a brief pause on Usagi's end and, in the silence that it left behind, Leo could make out the muted sound of… city traffic? And maybe a nearby fan or air conditioner? Definitely not the sounds he was used to hearing when he remembered talking with Usagi while he was at an established base camp.

“. **.. I'm going to be off duty for … well, an indeterminate amount of time. It's not really clear what is going to happen with the agency so... I decided to come back to the city for the time being**."

“So,” Leo started, feel his heart begin to pick up speed within his plasteron, “S-so you're in NYC? Right now?”

“ **Yeah** ,” Usagi breathed out carefully once again. Whether it was from pain or uncertainty, Leo wasn’t sure, “ **I'm staying at a hotel for a few days before… well, until I find somewhere to stay that doesn't cost money. Gen’s or Tomoe's place probably**.”

“I… I-I don't know what to say,” Leo said honestly, his lips pulling into a tight line. He had been certain that he would never hear or see Usagi again. In the first few months after Usagi left on his long term assignment, he had hoped that the rabbit would break his silence and, at least, let him know that he was okay. Leo even thought they could make it work with a long distance relationship, even though the concept was a painful thought. Regardless, Leo had been willing to do anything to continue their relationship; after all, he had wanted to be with Usagi for the rest of his life. But then four months of silence passed and the hard truth that had been looming over his naive head came crashing down with a suffocating suddenness: Usagi had made his choice… and it hadn’t been to be with him.

“ **You don't have to say anything,”** Usagi said softly, almost to the point where Leo couldn’t hear, “ **I just… needed to hear your voice, even if this is the only time I ever got to. Besides, I think my time is up so...”**

Leo blinked, turning away from the balcony doors and looking toward the clock hanging on one of the living room walls. The clock hands pointing to 11:51pm; a little more than ten minutes have passed since Usagi had picked up the phone. The turtle nervously fiddled with the sleeve of shirt more, the chaotic blend of emotions rearing its ugly head again as he slowly walked over to the coffee table to retrieve his scotch, “Oh, r-right. Five minutes...”

Usagi hummed affirmatively in response to Leo's half-hearted reply, “ **... More like fifteen but I’m not complaining.”**

“W-what can I say,” Leo started, raising the glass to his lips to finish his scotch just as he slowly made his way passed the kitchen and down the hallway towards the bedroom, “I might be pissed but it would be pretty dick to just hang up on someone who’s grieving.”

Usagi chuckled deeply, the sound causing those familiar butterflies to stir within the turtle’s stomach, “ **I wouldn't have faulted you, regardless**.”

“No... I saw him as a friend too,” Leo said sadly, shoving away the fluttering in his gut as he spoke, “And he was more than that to you; he was a brother. You guys had been through everything together. Things that I may never know about so … I'm… I’m really sorry, Usagi.”

“ **Thank you…** ,” he responded back hesitantly just as Leo walked through the bedroom door, “ **That… that means a lot.** ”

Leo walked to his bed and slide down to sit on to edge of it, carefully thinking his next words over. He had been right; talking to Usagi for a certain amount of time was putting a strain of his emotional sanity… but it also pulled on his heart with a mixture of pain and misguided hope that was really starting to wind him.

“... Look,” Leo started with an exhausted sigh, reaching over to place his empty glass on his nightstand, “I'm glad I could be here for you and that talking it out helped but--”

“ **Leo, there's another reason I called** ,” Usagi said, gently cutting Leo off, “ **Well, two reasons to be honest**.”

Leo blinked before tilting his head, his lips frowning a little, “Yes?”

“ **I…** ,” Usagi started but cut himself off, a brief silence followed where he shifted again to find a comfortable position that probably didn’t hurt him, “ **I was wondering if… and, of course you don’t have to i-if you don’t want to--**.”

“Get to the point please,” Leo said flatly, glaring across the room at this dark grey chest of drawers as if it were the rabbit himself.

“ **I was wondering if we could… find some time to talk?** ”

Leo blinked, his glare softening by a small fraction as he processed the rabbit’s question. His heart thumped, knowing exactly what Usagi was asking for but the turtle hoped he was wrong, “... We are talking.”

Usagi sighed, “ **I meant in person, Leo.** ”

“O-oh,” Leo said lamely, gulped lightly as his hands gripping at the comforter underneath him. He would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t want to see Usagi again; to see him alive and well and _here_ , in the city. Of course he did… or at least, a part of him did; the part that still cared for the rabbit… that still loved him. The other part however-- the part that was nothing but a chaotic mixture of anger and pain-- wanted to just end the call with a few choice words, regardless of Usagi’s grief.

Usagi continued on when Leo didn't say anything after several seconds of awkward silence, his tone uncertain, “ **I-it doesn’t have to be anytime soon, of course. But… there are things I want to… no-- I** **_have_ ** **to tell you and doing it any other way outside of face-to-face just… "**

He paused again, sighing roughly before he continued, " **I… don't want to do that again. Not with this**."

Leo bit his lip lightly, his hand clenching and unclenching the bedsheets, his mind spiraling with every possible answer he could reply with.

Yes?

No?

Go fuck yourself?

… I still love you, you asshole…

Leo swallowed thickly, "I-I'm not sure that's a good idea. I’m glad you’re okay Usagi, really, but … I’m not sure if I am ready to see you again. At least not right now."

Usagi was silent for another few seconds before he continued to speak, “ **... I understand. If… if you** **_do_ ** **want to meet up and talk at another time, you have my number. My new one.** "

Leo hummed out an shaky affirmative, "Y-yeah. I'll think on it. Thank you… um… w-was there something else? You said there was two things?"

" **Ah, yes, one more thing** ," Usagi said, " **I just... wanted to wish you a happy 28th birthday**."

“Oh… thank you…" Leo said softly, unsure of what to say back to that. He wasn't sure why he would think Usagi wouldn't have remembered… maybe because he hadn't called for his 27th. Either way… the birthday wishes were a bittersweet sentiment; more… sweet than bitter oddly.

" **You're welcome** ," Usagi said back just as softly, " **... Goodnight, Leo.** "

"Goodnight," Leo said just before he pulled the phone away slowly and ended the call. After several moments of dead silence he growled lowly under his breath, throwing his phone unceremoniously the pillow furthest away from him. He slammed his eyes shut, feeling the burning of tears behind his closed lids, before he fell backward, pressing his shell into his mattress.

He hated that he had become this emotional within the span of a 15 to 20 minute phone call. All that work he put in over the year, trying his hardest to get over the rabbit and move on with his life, had so easily been torn apart at just the sound of Usagi's voice. God, he couldn't even fathom how he would react if he actually saw the rabbit in _person_.

"Damnit…," he hissed lowly, lifting his arm up to cover his eyes, the warmth of his tears pooling at the corners of his closed eyes, "God damnit Usagi…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, so wonderfully angsty. And more is to come! Next chapter, we’re going to get a little more insight into Usagi and what’s on his mind. Stay tuned and thanks for reading : D


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